mlhabrat

Remember when we were little and we messed up playing some kind of sport, or made a wrong guess in a game of some sort and we would call for a “Do Over” Yeah, that is waht I am asking for here.

I’m not going to make any excuses, I was sick, which lead to lazyness which added more weight. I should have done better over the last month. I could have, there is no doubt but I just didn’t. I guess that is why I did not post anything durring this time. Shame and guilt are awful things.

However, there is no need to hide from BuddySlim. Everyone here is in the same boat - Maybe different weights, diets, etc, but same overweight boat.

I descided to go back to the actual WW plan and meetings. I was not going to, but I think I need the meetings right now. I need that extra little push. I need to see the faces of the tema leaders and hear the stories of the others in the meetings. Money is tight right now, and I hate that I need to spend it, but that is just it, I NEED TO SPEND IT. I need to get my life under control. I lost 60 Lbs with WW last go round, so I know that it works, and I felt so much better when I was working the program and going to the meetings…I sound like someone that attends AA meetings, but it is basically the same thing. I have an addiction to food - large amounts of food. It makes me feel better, fills the nights when my husband is at the fire station, and I love the taste! I just LOVE food.

So here I am…Asking for a do over and I started WW on Monday the 11th. Weighed in at 248 even (scary for me). I now weigh more than my husband. Heck I weigh more than my husband holding my son and a 10 Lb bag of flour. It’s sad to me and I don’t want to be sad any longer.

If you believe in God, pray for me,

If you don’t, please lend a supporting hand,

and if you care to reply, I promise I won’t vanish again.

Mel

So I took everyone’s advice and increased the amount of breakfast that I had this morning. Still not my good ‘ole number 10 from MickyD’s, but it lasted me till 10 am when I could have my snack of low fat cheese and turkey roll-ups. Yummy!!
I have also stuck with the massive water intake. Bathroom trips are still large in number, but honestly I know that will settle down and it will all be for the best!

Lunch is a pre-packaged Smart Ones meal. No temptation today from eating out (which is a good thing) and one thing that I really like about the Smart Ones is that the portion size is all measured out and I don’t have to worry about over doing it. I also have a 100 cal. Oreo Snack pack as a dessert. Just enough to kill the sweet tooth!

As with yesterday, I will update this post this evening. Hope everyone is doing well and sticking to their goals!

Ok, so maybe I might be a little bit over exaggerating, I’m not Starving.. Not really. This morning at 10 am I could have sworn that I was going to faint dead away becasue I was soooooo hungry. My english muffin with peanut butter just did not last as long as my usual #10 (Large) with a Coke (Large) from McDonalds. I did make it to lunch, However, and I was proud of my lack of snacking and feeling a bit more confident in my will power, and then…

Lunch Time!

Yeah, so we never leave the office for lunch. Heck 1/2 the time we don’t even get time to eat lunch much less go anywhere. Well of course, since today was my first day of my new diet, the girls want to go out. So, I go. Mistake? I was thinking “YES!” the entire drive. Especally because we are going to one of my FAVORITE resturants in Charleston, Tommy Condon’s (An Irish Pub). They have the most amazing Shepard’s pie if you ever get a chance to go, but here I am, wanting to be good, and all I can do is think about that “pie” with the mashed potato topping!!!

So we order, and Yes, Ladies and gentlemen, ordered a blackened Tuna salad with low fat dressing!!! Everyone else got the awesome hanburgers with fries, and wraps with ranch gressing and yadda, yadda, and here I am the ONLY one in the group that orders healthy! So I did have some will power after all!

**SNAPS TO ME**

Also, I took the advice of one of my new (Very smart) buddies and I have replaced all my beverages with water. I feel like I have gotten to know our staff bathroom much better today with the many trips my increase and water has forced me to make, but I don’t have the dry mouth feeling that I get after I have had nothing but Coke all day. That is def. a plus!!!

Well it is back to the grind stone, and I feel like I am full enough that I may not need my WW muffin snack that I brought. I’ll update this post later tonight and let ya’ll know how the day and evening tempations went!!

Evening Update for Day 2:

The rest of the day went well (Diet wise - Work is another stressful story). I did have a small WW muffin snack at about 4, and I was content and full (With the help of my endless water glass) until I picked up my son and made it home to make dinner.

Dinner was not Gourmet (dispite the name on the box) but my son eats it and it has a lot of protein with the chicken and eggs. I did cave and have 2 light beers, and some string cheese with my son as dessert, but it was lowfat. I will return to the massive water intake again here shortly.

I have to say that the pie graph on the food journal page is a MAJOR eye opener! I was amazed how half (almost exactly) of my intake was carbs for the day. This is something that I really need to work on!

Thank you to all the wonderful and tips that I recieved today! I am constantly amazed when I read others blogs how much we are alike in our struggles, no matter the amount that we want to loose.

Food Log

I can not begin to count the numerous diets that I have tried over the years. Weight Watchers, South Beach, Jenny Craig, Atkins… You name it, I am pretty sure that I have tried it. I will have to go on record here and admit that Weight Watchers (From here on out written as WW) was the most sucessful and easiest to follow. That being said they have changed the program from what I used to know, and I had a hard time getting back into the swing of it when I decided to lose some of the massive pounds that I have gained in the last year and a half. So I have decided that I am going to go back to the old-school WW program from before and do that here at home, along with some online support (Hence my addition to this site), and the support of my loving husband and family. I am motivated, but also very nervous. I am the heaviest that I have ever been in my life.

I wish that I could say that it was all due to something that I had no control over, such as a disease, or congental problem, but I can’t. My current state as an obese person is all, 100% my doing. I put the oversized food amounts in my mouth, and I washed it all down with real Coke.

I have to watch my portions. That is where I get in trouble, and this is going to be my first habitual change. I will measure it all out and I am sure that the next 2 weeks are going to give me a one way ticket to starvation hell. I’ll survive, becasue it is all a mental feeling. I know that my body doesn’t need the massive amounts of food that I have been shovling in it.

So here I go again. This is day 1…

I am confident that I can do this. If I can get through the next two weeks and accomplish my goals of controilled portion sizes, then I will work on my next habitual change…exercise increase.